Diary of a Wimpy Italian
by WakaLakaAlchemist
Summary: Italy's diary tells of his daily struggles, adventures, moments of bliss, and pure idiocy. Random light plots, contains GerIta and Spamano. More pairings in future chapters.
1. Ciao, idiota!

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian**

**Characters: **Italy, Germany, Romano, Prussia, Spain, France

**Warnings: **Romano's mouth. Also, Italy is really, really clueless.

**Pairings:** GermanyxItaly, SpainxRomano

**A/N:** Italy's writing is plain, Romano's is bold.

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2/22/09

Dear Diary,

_Buongiorno!_ Ve, ve, I'm going to write in a diary just like _fratello!_

**STUPID! I DON'T WRITE A DIARY IT'S A JOURNAL DAMMIT**

Romano, don't write in my diary! You never let me read your diary, so you can't read mine! It's only fair! Uh-oh, I think I made him mad. He left…

Um, um! I made some really good pasta today and I ate it for breakfast! Then I had a siesta! And, and, and…I called Japan! We talked about food and his funny cartoons and Germany.

Speaking of which, I haven't seen Germany in a long time. I should go see him now! Bye!

_Italia_

P.S. Thinking of things to write in a diary is hard!

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2/23/09

Dear Diary,

Germany won't talk to me.

I don't understand what I did…I always sleep in his bed whenever Romano isn't home, but ever since Buon San Valentino he's been acting super weird. He was so strange back there! Anyway, today he shouted at me to wake up and get out, and his face was really red. I asked him if he had a fever and tried to feel his forehead the way Japan does, but he freaked and turned away. I didn't know what to do, so I went downstairs. I saw Prussia asleep on the couch so I tried to wake him up to ask what was wrong with Germany. Usually Prussia is really different than Germany, but he looked like he was sick when he woke up too! It looked like he was trying to say something, then Romano barged into the house and threw a jacket on me (oh yeah, I forgot to put on clothes) and threw me over his shoulder (I never knew _fratello_ was so strong!) and said something to Prussia and took me home. I wonder what he said to him? Ah, wait, he-

**You want to know what I said to Potato Bastard the second? I told him he'd better not look at my little brother again if he wants to keep his bal**

Romanoooo! I told you to stop stealing the pen! And don't read over my shoulder! These are my private thoughts!

I tried calling Germany after that but he wouldn't answer the phone…Sigh…I think I'll go ask big brother France for advice later. I'm too hungry to go right now…Germany, I miss you! Please don't hate me! Whatever I did, I'm sorry!

_~Italia _

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2/27/09

Dear Diary,

Yaaaay~! I'm so happy! Germany is talking to me again, and it's all thanks to France!

So yesterday after lunch I went to big brother France's place and told him all about Buon San Valentino and how Germany was acting. He had this odd look on his face, like it was funny. I told him it wasn't funny! Germany was ignoring me! Then France told me that I need to find out how Germany really feels about me. I wasn't real sure about that. I mean, I always seem to be causing him trouble and making him mad, but he treats me nice, so he can't hate me, right?

I told France that, and he started laughing again. He told me not to worry about it, and that if I kept acting the way I always act around him, Germany would cave eventually. I don't get it! Me being me was the reason he got mad at me in the first place.

Then, Germany charged into the house and practically threw big brother France across the room! He picked me up from the bed I was sitting on and took me to his house. I was so happy I almost forgot about France. I went to check on him later, of course.

Germany sat me down on his kitchen table and told me that this was important and I needed to listen. I was too happy to listen to him though, so I only got bits of the lecture. I was nodding along pretending to hear, I don't think he could tell so it's okay. He said something about being careful around France, and beds and yelling and he asked me if France touched me anywhere weird or made me feel uncomfortable. I said of course not, France would never hurt me! He hit himself in the face with the palm of his hand (!) and said to never, never be alone with France again. I pinky-promised and told him that he shouldn't hit himself like that, it makes me worried. Then he smiled! I'm so happy! Germany hardly ever smiles!

I asked him when was wrong with being with France though, and he stopped smiling pretty fast. I think I ruined it. He said, "And _you're_ worried about _me_?" and walk off kind of uneasily. I thought about it real hard and I remembered when France tried to sell Corsica…That was awful! Big brother France can be so scary sometimes.

_~Italia _

**Dumbass! You actually went to see France? You really are an idiot! How would I be able to explain to everyone that my little brother got AIDS from that pervert? You know what? I would disown you. I don't have time for airheads with AIDS.**

Veee _fratello!_ Stop writing in my diary! How do you keep finding it? And I don't have AIDS! I'm a virgin, just like you!

**Veneziano, hiding a diary from me in a basket of tomatoes is more idiotic than invading Russia. You have now degraded to the mentality of a cumquat. Congratulations.**

**It's all that muscle head's fault, I just know it. A-and how would you know if I'm a virgin or not? I could have lost it and never told you!**

You're right! I should hide it somewhere you'll never look for it. Germany didn't make me this way, I've always been like this and you know it!

Brother's intuition~! Besides, the only person you could have done it with is Spa

**SHUT THE FUCK UP.**

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3/1/09*

Dear Diary,

I found a new hiding place for you. I hope Romano doesn't find it this time! You're safe in the album full of our baby photos! He'll never look there.

Um, so, so…I'm sleepy! I think I'll go take a siesta!

I'm back!

So yesterday Romano went to Spain's house and I guess they got into a fight again, because Romano came back all huffy and he kept muttering "tomato bastard" over and over. I asked what exactly Spain did, and he turned red like a tomato and said he'll tell me when I'm older. I was curious, so I went to Spain's house and Portugal was there while Spain was at the market. He's very different from Spain. When he smiles, it's less "I'm happy!" and more "I laugh at your misery," you know?

Anyway, he said he'd heard about the whole thing from Spain. Apparently Spain touched Romano's curl again, only Romano finally told him what it was. Then he started pulling it again! Just thinking about it makes me feel weird. I wish we could just cut it off, but Grandpa Rome says if we do, we'll die! I don't know if that's true, but I don't wanna die so it's better safe than sorry. Ah! I got off topic again! So! Portugal said Romano was turning even _redder_ than a tomato, if that's even possible, and he was fidgeting and I guess he couldn't take it anymore, so he kissed Spain! Then he punched him in the face and stormed out!

What the hell, Romano?

_~Italia_

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3/6/09

Dear Diary,

Romano's still being stubborn and ignoring Spain! He's come to our house so many times this week, yet _fratello_ will never talk to him. He ignores his calls and tells me to leave Spain alone. Since I'm his loyal brother I have to, but it still makes me sad. I wish Romano were more honest. It would make things so much easier, but we all have our flaws. Germany tells me it would be a lot easier if I were more perceptive and not so clingy and emotional. But if I'm not emotional, how will everyone know how I feel? Romano and Germany are alike in a lot of ways. They hide their emotions a lot, and they're both loud and violent sometimes, but they're really nice on the inside and I love them sooooo much! I'm so lucky to have friends unlike England! Nobody talks to him that much besides France and America. He scares me, but I still feel sorry for him.

Romano, hurry up and forgive Spain! You're taking all of your frustration out on me!

_~Italia _

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3/8/09

Dear Diary,

Spain is so nice~!

He came to apologize to _fratello_ and sang a pretty song on his guitar. Romano wouldn't let him in, so he just played in front of the house and I watched him from a window on the second floor. His voice is beautiful! Romano was sitting in the same room as me but wouldn't face the window. I could tell he was glad Spain came though. His aura was glowing with happiness! He kept silent the whole time too; he was paying a lot of attention to the song. After Spain was done, Romano came to the window and started shouting at him. Then he ran downstairs, out the door, grabbed Spain's collar, and head butted him right in the stomach! That had to hurt. As soon as Spain recovered, Romano started talking.

I couldn't hear what he was saying from where I was, but his shoulders were shaking and Spain was smiling and put his arms around him. Romano must have missed him, because he just let Spain hug him like that. They stood there for at least ten minutes before Spain came in for some of Romano's rare homemade pasta. I'm glad they're over it, but I bet they're going to be fighting again next week.

They're both so dense!

~Italia

**OhmyGodIhateyousomuch.**

Whaaa? Why? And how did you find my diary again?

**You wrote yourself a reminder of where it was. On the fridge. _The motherfucking fridge._**

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Aaannnnd done. Romano writing in a diaryIMEANJOURNAL is based off of the several fics of that I've seen on here. I have yet to see one in Italy's point of view, so I wrote this. Though I wouldn't doubt it already exists. Review Y/Y?

*I accidentally put 2/29/09 here at first…It would've been awesome if 2009 were a leap year. Then I would've done it right on accident. Too bad I never seem to do that.


	2. Skirts and Germans

**Characters: **Italy, Germany, Romano, Prussia, Poland  
**Genre: **Comedy  
**Warnings: **Crossdressing?  
**Pairings:** GermanyxItaly, SpainxRomano

3/10/09

Dear Diary,

So, I guess writing a memo on the fridge was a bad idea. Oh well. I found a new place for my diary _and_ the reminder! And I didn't know Romano was so curious about my life…!

Today I hung out with Poland! He showed me a cute pair of shoes and told me that Germany would like them, so I got them! They're bright red stilettos and they're real strappy. Poland also got me a jean skirt and a pink tank top to match him! I put them on later and showed them to Prussia. He said I look like a hooker ):

But, he was still acting nice to me and he offered to help me dress undress. Then he fell on the ground and there was a circle imprint on his head. I think I saw Hungary outside the window. Did she do that? Well, I didn't want him to just lie there, so I tried to pull him onto the couch. He was way too heavy for me! I called Germany to help me, and he came down and looked surprised when he saw me. His nose started bleeding! I dropped Gil (whoops) and rushed over to him 'cause I didn't know what else to do and now both the German brothers were hurt! It was awful and I was so worried! But Germany said he would be okay and he'll take care of Prussia, so I should just go play with his dogs or something. They're so nice and well-behaved. My favorite is Berlin! She doesn't bite and she's soft and smells like Germany. I used to hate the smell of wurst, but now it smells nice.

Well, I gotta go! Ciao!

~Italia

P.S. Romano has such a dirty mouth! I came home in the outfit Poland picked out for me and he started swearing like crazy. Then when I suggested he wear it when he visits Spain, he got silent and seemed to think about it. But he said, "I'm not a dirty transvestite, you idiot! Stop hanging out with Poland, he's a bad influence!" Fratello is always telling me who not to be with, it's kind of sad. He only has me and Spain to hang out with too, though France and Prussia are always trying to "play" (that's what they say, but aren't they too old to play?) with him. He never wants to play with them and ends up hiding behind Germany. I don't know why he hides, but Germany does make a really good shield!

**

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**A/N: I'm a moron for saying this, but am I the only one who thinks Italy would look cute in that outfit?**

**…**

**So reviews are highly appreciated. Thanks for reading! Also, I'll be submitting single entries for chapters from now on, since it's just easier and I can get more uploaded faster. I won't be putting up much at this time because my internet is down and I'm doing this from the library computer.**


	3. Ciao a tutti!

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian  
****Part III**

**Characters: **Italy, Germany, Romano, Prussia, America, England, Spain  
**Genre: **Comedy  
**Rating: **Blah. Like T+ or something.  
**Warnings: **…C:  
**Pairings:** GermanyxItaly, SpainxRomano  
**Just a note...There aren't enough styles of writing for all of the different countries, so I did what I could. They wrote their names anyway.**

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3/12/10

Dear Diary,

Hungary must have been at Germany's house when I wore Poland's outfit, because she was selling a picture of me to Japan during lunch break at a world conference! I asked her why she was selling it and why Japan would pay for it, but Japan wouldn't look at me and Hungary looked like she got caught doing something bad. What happened?

But, but! Big sister Hungary showed a picture to Germany when she thought I wasn't looking, and he slipped it in his back pocket all conspicuously (Austria taught me that word)! They think I didn't see it, but I saw! I wonder what Germany is going to do with that? Oh, oh, he's leaving the room! I'm gonna go follow him! Be right back!

I followed Germany…to the bathroom. He had the door shut, but I could hear moaning. Is he hurt? I'm worried. Maybe I should go back and knock? What if he's in pain? Should I tell someone? Ve, diary, help me! Eh? Oh, Prussia is reading over my shoulder…Prussia, what should I do?

**Oh na****ï****ve**** little Italia. Of **_**course**_** you should make sure West is okay! I****'****m sure he****'****ll love for you to join him****…****er, check on him. Kesesese****…****Have fun~ C:**

Okay then, I've made my decision! I'm going to see if Germany is feeling okay! I guess I'll just leave you here…

**America was here! Wow, Italy just left his diary out? What a failure. He****'****s an adorable kid though, I****'****ll give him that. Lucky little bastard gets away with people taking care of him****…****Including me, ****'****cause I****'****m the hero! Wait, so you seriously can****'****t figure out what Germany is doing? That guy is a total perv.**

_Apologies for the previous entry, Italy, America is an absolute git. A-and what's so cute about you? If it's the cooking, I can cook just as well as you can! Also, please do not share with us what Germany was doing. I've a good idea of it, but I'd rather not have it be confirmed…  
__-England_

_**Aww, Italy, you have a diary too? How adorable! Romano has one, but he calls it a journal. He won't let me read it, but I think I've seen my name in it a few times. If you find it, let me know, because Lovi having a secret diary is sooo sweet**__**! I don't get it, what's wrong with Germany? How come all of you guys know?  
**__**~España**_

**I will fucking kill each and every goddamn one of you with my bare hands. Starting with the potato bastard. Spain, you're next! And I told you, it's not a diary, it's something my stupid psychiatrist which I DON'T FUCKING NEED told me to write in about what goes on every goddamn day and it wasn't my choice anyway! Why the fuck are you all writing in my brother's diary anyway? What business of his life is yours? GODDAMNIT THAT POTATO BASTARD IS GOING TO FUCKING RAPE MY BROTHER SPAIN LET GO OF ME I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL THAT SON OF A BIT**

_**Don't worry; I've got Romano right in my lap! He's not going to hurt anyone! Aww, he's blushing and red just like a tomato and he's sooo cute**__**! By the way, Feli, is it true that your curl makes you feel good? Lovino told me that, but it's hard to believe so much feeling can come from a piece of hair! 'Cause I'm playing with Lovi's right now and he's making the cutest noises in his throat! And now he's turning around and it's hard to write like this…He's sitting on me funny…What's wrong with LovDIOS MIO I HAVE TO GO ADIOS**_

_**

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**_**A/N: So now, instead of just Romano invading Italy's diary, we have Prussia, America, England, and Spain as well. Romano's colorful vocabulary is music to my ears _/sarcasm_. Who can guess what Romano does next? *raises hand* Review if you'd like because I love you and you know it.**


	4. Baci e il Vaticano

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian  
****Part IV**

**Characters: **Italy, Germany, Switzerland  
**Rating: **T  
**Warnings: **Italy is a retarded monkey.  
**Pairings:** GermanyxItaly

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3/13/10

Dear Diary,

Ve, everyone wrote in you! I'm so confused! First Germany, now something is wrong with fratello? I need to ask Spain what happened!

First I should tell you about Germany yesterday though. I ran to the bathroom he was in like Prussia told me to, but the noises stopped. I knocked on the door real loud and shouted Germany's name, and I heard clinking metal like a belt. He told me to hold on, so I said hold on to what? and he said just forget it and wait. So I waited and he opened the door. He looked like he was burning up, and his eyes were all hazy! He looked sick. Again! Is Germany not eating healthy anymore? Is his immune system acting up? Oh no, is he getting old?

No, he can't be, China is so much older than us and he's perfectly fine, I think!

But he started blushing a lot and looked away and I asked him why he wouldn't look at me! What did I do wrong? And I tried to get closer so he would look at me but he wouldn't look! It made me so frustrated! So I grabbed his face and turned it towards me and heard he was having trouble breathing! I suggested mouth-to-mouth resse recesi recessitation resuscitation (Thank you, Austria!) 'cause I don't know a lot about stuff like that and then Ludwig passed out, it was so scary! Then I did the CPR thing and he woke up fine, thank God! But…something is weird. The last breath I gave him, I thought I felt his lips moving. It felt like a kiss. That's okay though, right? Cause me and Germany kiss all the time! On the cheek, but we still…

Ve…D-did Germany kiss me?

~Italia

P.S. I tried not to think of it like that, but I think that on Buon San Valentino, Germany proposed to me. It's scary, and I don't know how to feel about it. I like him a lot, but I'm worried about how it would change our friendship. What if we get into fights? Would it end the same way it does now? Will he still yell at me or make me wurst or refuse to let me drink his beer? If everything is all the same, then I don't see why we need to get married. But, if it makes Ludwig happy, then it makes me happy!

Buon San Valentino was so confusing, so I think he just forgot about marriage. But…I kind of want him to bring it up again. It…it's not legal in my country, which makes me sad…

It's against my religion. But as long as Ludwig is the one who asks, it can't be my fault, right? Because I'm not good with turning people down, and God knows that! I thought about asking Switzerland about it while I was passing the Vatican, but he's super-scary when he's on guard duty. He takes it really seriously, and if I asked him about gay marriage right in front of the church he might shoot me.

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**A/N: I'm not going to get into religion or morals. I tried to keep this as objective as possible, because I really don't appreciate it when people put their religious views in fanfiction, unless it's actually relevant. You can tell when someone's using their own feelings or opinions and putting them into the character. Of course I don't mind religion in stories though. It makes sense with the Italies.**

**Review, s'il vous plaît~ And I'm kind of running out of ideas on what to write, so if anyone can suggest some one-time light plot, that would be awesome. I'm going to wait a bit to continue on with this marriage plot so I can have some randomness in between.**

**CPR - UR DOIN IT WRONG.**


	5. Gli Uccelli e le Api lo Fanno?

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian  
****Part V**

**Characters: **Italy, Germany, Spain, Prussia, Japan, Hungary, Romano, Belarus  
**Rating: **T+  
**Warnings: **Italy decides to pretend to be clueless in order to tease Germany. Romano gives Spain some service.  
**Pairings:** GerIta, Spamano, one-sided BelarusxRussia

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3/16/10

Dear Diary,

Japan and Hungary came up to me all giggly this morning. They had Nikons, and I got a little worried, because Romano tells me to never be around them when they have cameras. I pretended not to be scared and offered them pasta, but when they have something on their mind, they can't get distracted!

Hungary told me to ask Germany where babies come from.

I don't really get it. Of course I know where babies come from! I'm the country of romance! But then Japan said, "Trust me, Italy-san, this is for our—ah, your own good."

I trust Japan, he's a nice guy. So I agreed to it and they asked if they could film it and I said Are you sure Germany would be okay with that? and they said Yeah, yeah, it's fine. What is filming it going to do? Oh, I know! They're making a movie! I'll have to ask them later what it's about! But aren't the actors supposed to know they're in a movie…? Well, I've never been in one before, so now I'm all excited! Plus, I think it would be funny to see how Germany would explain sex. I wonder if he's done it before…? I don't think so, because if I haven't, he definitely wouldn't have. No offense, Germany!

So I went to Germany's house and when he opened the door, I said right away, "Germany, where do babies come from?" He slammed the door in my face! I banged on it and kept calling his name but he wouldn't answer! Then Prussia opened the door. He was laughing and asked me what I did to get Germany all riled up. "I asked Germany how babies are made!"

He just kind of stared at me for a while, then invited me inside and told me that he'd explain it. He looked scary, like big brother France when he's about to give me wine! I told him no, I wanted Germany to tell me, and he said why, and I said 'cause Hungary and Japan asked me to, and he froze up when I said "Hungary." I wonder why he and Hungary don't get along…? She's so nice and she protects me sometimes too! At least, that's what she says she's doing when she hits France with a frying pan whenever he's around me.

But anyway, Prussia didn't want to be a part of this anymore since Hungary was and she'd probably maul him or something. He led me up to Germany's office where he was doing work and stuff and I kept asking and asking and jumping up and down next to him and he finally told me to shut up! And he sat me on the bed and took a deep breath and I'll never forget what he told me!

"You cannot sit there and tell me you don't know what sex is. You are the country of romance, supposedly. You've _talked to me_ about sex on the battlefield. If this is some kind of scheme of Hungary's, I don't want you to get roped into it. Just don't do her strange favors anymore, okay?"

Germany is so smart! He saw right through that. I think I heard cursing under the bed though…Big sis Hungary might be mad!

I was kind of disappointed that I didn't get to hear his explanation. Prussia heard the whole thing and told me that when Germany was a kid and he told him about it, he didn't sugarcoat it. There were no birds and bees. He laid down the cold hard facts ("No pun intended, Feli!" -?), and Ludwig was blushing so hard afterwards, Prussia swore the temperature in the room rose about ten degrees! That's so funny! I knew Germany would get flustered over things like that!

~_Italia_

P.S. I had to call Spain about what happened with fratello! Apparently Lovino gave him a "lap dance," only he didn't have to pay. I don't know what that is. Maybe I should ask Germany about that too…? Well that was going on until someone walked into the room. I think Spain said it was Belarus, and she was asking if they'd seen Russia…He's scary, but Belarus is just…! And as soon as she walked in, Romano started panicking and trying to hide behind Antonio. Then they went home and Spain made him paella. I feel so bad for Romano, but at least he got some yummy food. Uh-oh, fratello is coming. I'd better put this away before he finds it again! Ciao!

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**A/N: Silly Italy. Never trust Japan and Hungary together. And to answer Red Roses2, no, gay marriage has not yet been legalized in Germany. Same-sex couples can register as partners or something. I'm not very clear on it. Only eight countries allow gay marriage as of now: Norway, Sweden, Spain, Portugal, Canada, Belgium, the Netherlands, and South Africa. A lot of other countries give same-sex couples the same rights as marriage. Of course there are states in the U.S. that allow it too, but I don't know which ones and I don't really feel like looking it up right now.**

**ocean-view-luffy: Haha, actually I had written this chapter before putting up chapter 4, so I already used that idea. Unless I actually have Italy ask about lap dancing, which I originally wasn't going to do.**

**Thanks for reading as always, and please review if you have the time!**


	6. Buon Compleanno!

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian  
****Part VI**

**Warnings: **Cheesy corny cheesiness  
**Pairings:** GerIta, Spamano, hinted USxUK and PrussiaxAustria  
**A/N: FFFF when I first wrote this chapter I wasn't paying attention to the dates. But. THEN I REMEMBERED. So you get this boring birthday fluff and the next chapter is already written. **

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3/18/10

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was mine and fratello's birthday!

It was so much fun! When we woke up, Hungary, Germany, Prussia, France, and Spain made us a yummy breakfast! There were tomatoes and beignet and goulash and muesli and churros and bretzel and of course lots and lots of pasta! Romano refused to eat the muesli and bretzel, I think it's cause Germany and Prussia made it…But it was all still really good!

Then we had to go upstairs to get changed and brush our teeth and stuff, and when we came back down, everyone was there! Well, not everyone, we can't fit that many people in our house. But there were sooo many people! A huge, pretty red white and green banner said "BUON COMPLEANNO!" and there were streamers and balloons and everything! Romano took one look at everything and started to go back upstairs, but then Spain tackled him and that was the end of that.

Hungary suggested we play party games, and I said okay, because I love playing games! But a lot of countries looked scared…and some of them were glaring at me. Especially Romano. I was really confused and tried to hide behind Germany, which was kind of hard because we were both sitting down. Some people tried to leave, but Hungary gave them a strange look and held up a frying pan (where did she get that?) and they all sat down real fast. She said we should play Seven Minutes in Heaven, but I had no idea how. Elizabeta told me the rules, and I asked "Why would you want to play that game? You're only supposed to kiss the people you love!" A lot of people agreed with me and England actually thanked me! So we couldn't play that game. We ended up playing hide-and-seek (Sealand suggested it), but a lot of people were missing and we couldn't find them…Eventually we found Prussia and Austria in a hall closet, America and England in the bushes outside, and Spain and Romano arguing in a tree. I'm not sure I want to know how that happened. But, Hungary said she got a lot of good footage. I wonder if she and Japan are still making that movie?

There was so much food too! England brought something, but it mysteriously disappeared, thank goodness. Then we opened presents. We mostly got pasta ingredients and tomatoes, but there were also frilly aprons and pretty dresses from Elizabeta (fratello was not very happy about this, but Spain, France, and Prussia looked ecstatic!), a "super-safe" hybrid car from Japan ("It would still be helpful if you, ah, obeyed traffic laws, Italia-kun…"), a painting from France that looked strangely familiar, and lots more! Fratello gave me a painting too! It was something he's apparently been working on for a long time now, and he was blushing a whole lot when he gave it to me! "I spent months on that, you'd better appreciate it!" he said. It was a picture of him and me when we were little! So cute! It was pretty good too! I gave him one of those topsy-turvy planters that I found when I was visiting America. The tomato one, of course! I also managed to find a "Getting Rid of the Mafia for Dummies" at this strange German bookstore.

When it got darker out, Hong Kong and Korea lit lots of fireworks in the backyard! It was so pretty! But then Hong Kong started aiming them at England and it got crazy from there…And America said he could make bigger ones, which made France and Prussia laugh…But, but! America and Germany and Spain disappeared back into the house for a while, and when I tried to follow them in, Poland said that I, like, have to wait for the totally awesome surprise they're going to like, bring out! I waited real patient for a whole twenty seconds before trying to get in again, but Switzerland threatened me with his shotgun!

I waited by playing with sparklers with Liechtenstein and Sealand while Romano sat watching us and eating tomatoes. I can tell he wanted to join. Then all of a sudden, a loud boom came from the front of the house. The sky lit up like it was day! We all ran to the front yard and there they were, setting off huge fireworks! It took me a while to realize it, but it was all red, white, and green! Spain pulled Romano real close against him because Romano muttered something about being cold. I was starting to shiver, so Germany hugged me too while we watched America set off the fireworks. It was amazing.

After that, people started leaving. It was reeeaaal late. Soon it was just me, fratello, Germany, France, Prussia, and Spain. Spain offered to take Lovino to his house to spend the night, and fratello didn't even refuse! Now that I think about it, Spain never gave Romano a gift…At least, I didn't see one. Maybe it was at his house! It must be big! So Gilbert and Francis left too, and it was just me and Germany. He said he had to go, but I really wanted him to stay. I would have been alone, after all! Then I remembered something: he didn't give me my birthday present either! I didn't say anything though. Just him being there made me happy.

I let him stay in the guest bedroom, but I felt lonely in my room all by myself. So I snuck into bed with Ludwig, and he didn't seem to notice. But after a long while, he whispered, "_Ti amo, Feliciano."_ Then he put a little wrapped box on the pillow next to my head.

I was really shocked, so I didn't say anything for a while. I wanted him to know that I heard him though. "_Ich liebe dich, Ludwig." _I said it real quietly and his back was turned towards me, but I saw his ears turn pink. It was a really good birthday.

~_Italia_

P.S. When I woke up this morning, Germany was gone. I was kind of sad, but then I remembered the little wrapped box. So I opened it—it was a golden ring with a tomato on it like the one from San Valentino, only it was on a silver chain. I thought I should've been scared like I was back then, but it's only a necklace. I think I like Germany's gift the best!

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**A/N: Okay, even if no one noticed, I need to point this out—back in chapter four, Italy mentioned Buon San Valentino, saying "I tried not to think of it like that, but I think that on Buon San Valentino, Germany proposed to me." I am a retard. I basically made him say, "…I think that on Happy St. Valentines…" because I wasn't thinking about what that even meant. I just used the title of the Valentine's strip. I just feel it's necessary to correct myself at this point, because I don't want to have to go back, fix it, and reupload the chapter. Once again, I'm an idiot and I apologize for how little I think about these things.**

**Spider Wench requested I give Prussia some lovin', so I'm going to go ahead and pair him with Austria in future entries. Any ideas…? I'm pathetic XD**

**Also, I'm going to New Orleans next week, so I won't update for a while. This was late too, so I'm really sorry…Review if you'd like, and thanks for putting up with me =_=;**

**So...I had to reupload this chapter because I said Germany didn't give him a Christmas present when I meant birthday present. It was just too huge of a mistake to leave. I don't know why I keep messing up with this story, my other stories aren't nearly as error-ridden...**


	7. Alimentari

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian  
****Part VII**

**Warnings: **Romano's mouth  
**Pairings:** GerIta  
**A/N: In Italia isn't the best song to listen to when you're trying to write in Italy's POV.**

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3/21/10

Dear Diary,

Guess what! Guess what!

Ludwig took me to the grocery store today! He usually never does that. I always get distracted and wander off. I think he said I had ADAD or ADHD or something. But anyway, we saw Austria there! He was buying some cheap store brand stuff. Austria looks super fancy but he's stingy! I used to have one of those frilly neck things, but that went out of style so long ago.

While Austria and Germany were talking about stuff, I got bored because I don't speak a lot of German. I decided to get some pasta because Germany never has enough at his house! But…I got lost! I started crying, but a nice man working there took me to the front. He used the microphone thing to report a lost boy at the first register with reddish-brown hair, brown eyes, and about 172 cm tall. I started looking around for this guy, then I realized he was talking about me! I got to be on the speakers, how cool! I asked him if I could say something on the microphone too, but he looked kinda flustered and told me he couldn't let me do that…Oh well.

A few minutes later, Germany and Austria came up to us. Germany was sooo embarrassed! I was happy that he found me though, because I was so scared! I ran up and hugged him and he apologized to that nice man, whose name was Adam (I looked at his name tag). I turned around to hug Adam as thanks for helping me, but I guess that wasn't a good idea because he got rigid and really red.

Germany took my hand and dragged me out of the store while Austria paid for the groceries. I got a big lecture on how the people in Ludwig's country aren't used to so much random affection. It's so sad! But I'm sure there are affectionate people in Germany, otherwise how would they fall in love? Since Germany doesn't overreact like that when I hug him, maybe he's used to it. I wonder if he's ever been in love…?

When Austria came out, he handed Germany the bags and told me that that Adam guy blushed when he mentioned me. So he said I should stop hugging people in Germany because they'll all get confused and fall in love with me. That's weird. I only just met him! Ve, maybe it was love at first sight! But I don't feel the same way about him…We can be friends though! I should go back there someday and talk to him!

Germany looked kind of angry after that. I asked him if he was mad at me, and he said no, he just didn't think I should be so forward with other people. Other people…Does that mean it's okay if I'm forward with him? :D Prussia met us at Ludwig's house and made Austria tell him what happened. He said Germany's just jealous. Jealous of what? Gilbert is so confusing!

_~Italia_

**You're a horrible person.**

Huh? Why?

**If you keep going back there, he's going to get the wrong idea, dumbass!**

B-but I want to be friends…And how did you find my diary again?

**How about you just stay out of Germany period? Your diary was open on your desk; I was coming into your room because you took my cell phone again. Mine is the red one! Yours is blue! Learn the difference! D-damn it, don't listen to what Spain says! That didn't happen! He took advantage of me!**

No way! Germany is my best friend! Oh, sorry about that. Good thing you wrote that down, now I can remember! Mine is blue! Blue! B-L-U-E! But I still don't understand what you did with Spain…What's a lap dance?

**Fu…Go ask the potato bastard, he's your best friend after all! Maybe he'll avoid you for a week or two.**

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**A/N: ASDFJKL; yeah this was going to be about Germany taking Italy out on a date, but it transformed into this. I don't even know. I'm kind of out of it right now. So I think I'm going to have Italy ask about it after all…**

**Once again, I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but surprise of surprises! I made another mistake. The dates for the first two chapters are 2009, and everything else is 2010. I'm not sure how that happened since I've been copy/pasting them onto each new document…Anyway, reviews are appreciated! Thank you!**


	8. Cena e un ballo

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian  
****Part VIII**

**Warnings: **FFFF I don't even know. Language? Suggestive comments? I don't think anyone cares.  
**Pairings:** GerIta  
**Special thanks to yuu honda for the date suggestion~**

**

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**

3/25/10

Dear Diary,

At the world conference today, all the nations got into a huge fight again, but Germany stayed quiet. I got worried and after the meeting I went up to him to ask if he was okay, but before I could say anything, he asked if I wanted to go to dinner!

"Dinner? Okay! Where?"

"Ah…A nice Italian restaurant nearby…"

We were at America's place, so there were lots of Italian restaurants. I was skeptical if they were any good though. Fratello looked so mad when I left the building and went towards Germany's car though! He flipped me off and started to charge at Germany, but France came up to talk to us so he turned right back around. So anyway, Germany has this really nice environmentally friendly car, but it's so slow! I told him about France's new pretty Prius and he looked kind of agitated. I'd wanted to try driving it, but France said he wanted to keep this car for a while. I wonder what he meant by that? But he said he'd give me a ride any time I wanted one!

The restaurant Germany stopped at was called Filomena Ristorante. It looked nice, so I guess Ludwig really thought it through! I was so excited Germany decided to take me out for dinner I forgot I didn't have my wallet! When I told him that, he had a look of really hard concentration on his face and said, "Don't worry about it, Italy. I'm paying."

That made me really happy, because I don't have a whole lot of money right now and being treated was nice every now and then! I started humming a nice song and I hooked arms with Ludwig as we walked inside. I got a little worried again, because he was turning all frigid and serious.

I asked him, "Ger—Ludwig, why do you look so serious? What's wrong?" I almost said Germany in public! That would have been bad!

He didn't answer me. He just kept staring at me with that scary glare he has a lot and I was getting really uncomfortable! I thought maybe I should take my arm back, but it was stuck! It took me a while to figure out it was because Germany was holding it there!

We were seated in a nice corner (Germany made reservations!), but it was kind of dim. The only light there seemed to be a little cream-colored candle. We sat in booth seats, which I really like because they're nice and soft and bouncy! When I started bouncing on the seats Germany glared at me again though, so I stopped. The waitress came and I we ordered wine, and I waited 'till after she left.

"Ne, Ludwig…You're really different today. You were quiet when everyone was fighting at the meeting, and you still haven't said anything or yelled at me or hit me or—"

Germany cleared his throat, so I guessed that meant I should get on with my point. "I mean…wellll…Germa—Ludwig, why are you so sad? Seeing you like that makes me sad too."

Then his eyes got real wide and he leaned forward and opened his mouth, but the waitress lady came back with our wine. She left again and Germany whispered, "I-Italia, I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Just…enjoy the dinner and don't worry about me, alright?"

"But are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." Germany gave me this weird, forced smile, but at least he was trying so I let it go. I could always ask him later. Again and again. Until he tells me. Sì, that's what I'll do! He has to tell me eventually. So I just sipped my wine, and smiled at this real pretty girl I saw across the room from us. She smiled back and blushed, but the guy she was sitting across from turned to me and glared. His hand gripped the back of the seat so tight his knuckles turned white, so I turned away real quick and hoped he would forgive me. I have relatives in Washington, D.C! Please don't come hunt me down and kill me and my family in my sleep, mister! Oh, but I bet Germany would come protect me!

Um, anyway…I was getting bored and it was way too quiet, so I decided to start a conversation. And I've been wondering this for a while, so I thought it was a good time to ask.

"Ve, Ludwig, what's a 'lap dance?'"

Then he spat wine all over my face!

He started wiping it off with a napkin real quick and waved away the waitress when she came to help. He said he was sorry a whole lot and was red and flustered, so I laughed. He just looked so funny! Then he got all confused at why I was laughing, so I told him, "You don't have to freak out over this! It's just wine, it tastes reaaaally good anyway!" I licked some of the spilled wine around my lips to prove it, but that just made Germany blush more. Did he think he had to clean me up himself? "Don't worry, I can clean myself up!" I told him just in case. He just got even more confused so I just cleaned the rest of it with my napkin and kept talking. "Do you know what a 'lap dance' is? Because big brother Spagna told me fratello gave him one, but he didn't tell me what it was! And when I asked fratello, he told me to ask you! So what exactly did fratello give big brother Spagna? Was it like a present?"

Germany looked concerned and muttered something about Spain talking too much about his private life and sighed all tired-sounding. "Italia…A la…l-lap dance is…" and his voice got real low like he was telling a big secret, "It's w-when you, ah…you sit in someone's lap and…er…you dance. Yes, yes, that's it. That's all it is." He nodded quickly, but now I was the one confused.

"Wait…how can you dance in someone—"

"_Schweigen! _Don't be so loud!" he covered my mouth and whisper-shouted at me. I nodded under his hand and he let me go, so I lowered my voice but made sure he could still hear me.

"I don't get it…how can you dance in someone's lap? Don't you have to be standing to dance?"

"Er…Not in all cases…I suppose…"

He wasn't saying anything else about it, but I wanted to know! He wasn't making any sense! "I still don't get it, Ludwig! Can you show me?"

Good thing he wasn't drinking wine again, because he started choking a bunch! I patted his back and asked him if he was okay, and all the customers and waiters and stuff were looking at us funny. Did we cause them a lot of trouble? I should ask America to tell them I'm sorry.

When Germany could finally breathe again, he closed his eyes and took a deep, long breath, which I took as a signal to listen close 'cause he was about to tell me something important.

"…No. I can't do that, Italia. I…em…don't dance."

I thought about it for a second, then I had an idea. "If you tell me how, I can give you one and you can tell me if that's right or not!"

His next breath came really quick and he squeezed his eyes shut again. "Italia…would you please let it go? It's not that important. You won't ever need to do that in your lifetime."

"But if fratello did it, why wouldn't I do it?"

"Because your brother is a ho—b-because he and Spain have a…special relationship. People who give…_those_…have a different relationship than other people. That or they're prostitutes. But that's not the point. My point is, forget it. And tell Romano to stop making me tell you these things. Do you know what you want to eat yet? The waitress is coming to take our order."

A special relationship? Like America and England? I didn't think Spagna and fratello had that…huh. What does dancing have to do with diplomacy and politics? If fratello has a special relationship with Spagna, wouldn't I have it too since we're the same country? Or is fratello breaking off? Oh no! What if fratello is trying to make a separate country?

…

No, that couldn't happen! Romano would never take on all that responsibility! So what does dancing in someone's lap have to do with special relationships? And what do prostitutes have to do with anything? …Is Romano a prostitute…? That would be so weird and gross…He doesn't need to do that just to make extra money! I need to tell him to stop! And just because people dance doesn't make them prostitutes! I don't get Ludwig!

Or wait, maybe he means really good friends by special relationship? Because I know fratello is always being a dick to Spagna but he secretly really likes spending time with him and Spagna loves being with him too, so I think they're really good friends. I've never done anything like that with my friends. So how good friends do you have to be? Friends for a really really long time like fratello and Spagna and America and England? Why won't Germany tell me how a lap dance works? How can you move your legs if you're sitting on someone?

Veee, my head hurts! D:

Besides that, the rest of the dinner went okay. The food was actually pretty good, not as good as at home of course, and Germany seemed to relax when I changed the subject to his dogs. After we finished eating, he took me to my hotel and let me kiss him on the cheek and give him a big goodbye hug. Fratello had left a note that said big brother Spain kidnapped him so he would see me when we got home to Italy, and I suddenly got a really big urge to go after Germany.

And I still have that urge right now. But it's one in the morning, so I think he would get mad at me. I would go find out where Spain's hotel was so I could join them, but fratello said in the note:

**DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, COME LOOKING FOR ME. IF YOU'RE IN TROUBLE, CALL THE POLICE. IT'S 9-9-1 OR 9-1-1 OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.**

So I guess they're doing something important that I can't interrupt. Am I really that disruptive? Maybe I get on peoples' nerves too much…I was probably making Germany frustrated all night. Oh well…I should call him in the morning and say sorry.

I'm tired now, so buona notte!

_~Italia_

P.S. I guess I don't have a special relationship with Germany…

…Whatever a special relationship is.

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**A/N: Huh. This seems rather sad. But HOSHITMAN, it's been, what, four months since I've last updated this? I am so sorry…I just lost the desire to continue on with this story. But I do have a plan for the next chapter thanks to some suggestions, so that will be done much sooner than this one. I made this one the longest entry to, I hope, make up for how late it is. I'm always late with updating my stories, aren't I? **

**Thanks for reading, and please review~**


	9. Campeggio

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian  
****Part IX**

**Warnings: **Romano's mouth  
**Pairings:** GerIta, Spamano, very slight PruAus

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3/30/10

Dear Diary,

I went out in the woods to draw some pictures the other day and got lost! I got so scared and called Germany, and he told me to just turn around. So I did, and the entrance was right behind me! Good thing I called him. After I was safe in my house, Germany said I needed to get used to the woods because I'm always getting lost without him. I said we should go camping! Fratello heard me though, and he said there was no way he was letting me camp with "that potato bastard," so he was coming too. I was about to tell him that I used to do that all the time but I decided it would be better if I didn't say anything. Germany was coming over, so I decided to call Big Brother Spain for fratello since I bet he'd be happier if he came!

But when Germany got to our house, Prussia and Austria were with him and Germany said Prussia whined until he let him come.

**I did not whine! I just decided you guys needed something awesome in the woods with you. You should be thanking me for taking the time out of my awesomely busy schedule!**

…Okay. Grazie then! Anyway, Prussia forced Austr

**Hah! That aristocrat tagged along because he couldn't stand being away from me!**

_That is ridiculous. You forced me. And I'm always away from you._

Stop taking my pen, you guys! So now it's me, Germany, Prussia, Austria, fratello, and big brother Spain in

_**Just for the record, Veneziano, I really hate you right now. Why the FUCK is Prussia here, and what made you think it was a good idea to invite Spain?**_

B-but I thought it would be fun…and Prussia came uninvited…Oh, fratello got kidnapped by Big Brother Spain. Ciao!

So we only have two tents, and Romano says he's not letting me sleep with Germany so Germany and Prussia have to sleep in one tent and we would sleep in the other. When I asked what about Austria and Spain, he said he didn't care where they went. Spain said, "I would get to sleep in a tent with both brothers?" and then his nose started bleeding, so fratello shoved him out of our tent. So now Austria is with us. All he does is complain about not having his piano, but if Germany can take care of Spain's bleeding nose (I wonder why his nose started bleeding?) then I guess he should stay with him! I hope he feels better.

It's so cold, I'm going to sit by the fire!

Later…

We're cooking soup stuff right now! It looks really nasty. Germany said we can't make pasta because it takes too much time. It doesn't take that long…Why do we have to worry about that anyway? We have aaaallll night to make food! But we can't skip sleeping, so I guess he might have a point.

Austria stayed in his tent and told him to let him know when the food is ready. I don't think he's having much fun….Prussia's getting up and says he's going to go cheer him up with his awesome presence! I think if he brought his chick it would cheer him up, 'cause it's such a cute little birdie!

We didn't bring any chairs and fratello refuses to sit on the ground or on a log, because he's wearing nice pants. Why did he wear nice pants to go camping? So now he's being held down-er, sitting on Spain's lap. He keeps complaining, saying the fire is too hot 'cause it's making his face red. I keep turning towards them and seeing Spain's face in fratello's neck. It looks like he's suffocating, but when he does that Romano stops complaining and bites his lip. I think I saw him whispering something, but how could fratello hear him?

Germany keeps looking at them and rolling his eyes. Does he not like it when fratello and Spain cuddle? I think it's cute! I just wish Romano would admit it makes him happy to be with Spain. Wouldn't it be funny if he thanked me for having Big Brother Spain come too?

The food is ready! I'm gonna eat! Wish me luck camping tomorrow too!

_~Italia_

_

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**A/N: Woot. Car rides. It's so depressing outside…I saw some lenticular clouds. Those are weird. So I'm on my way to Detroit to visit ma famille, hoping to get some fics written while I'm internet-deprived. Joy. Thanks for reading, and please review. Happy Late Turkey Day to those in the United States~**


	10. Campeggio, p2

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian  
****Part X**

**Warnings: **Romano's mouth  
**Pairings:** GerIta and Spamano

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3/30(still)/10, night

Dear Diary,

Fratello wanted to go to bed early tonight, and when we got in our tent Austria was already there. It was real quiet and boring, so I went to sleep right away. But then there was a sudden loud noise outside! Me and Romano woke up, but Austria was all pissy cause it interrupted his beauty sleep I think. I was so scared! The noise kept getting louder and we saw big shadows outside the tent! Romano shouted for whoever was out there to show themselves, dammit! So the tent opened up, and it was just Prussia and Spain! And for some reason big brother France was there too! I wonder when he got here?

Prussia started laughing at us for getting so scared, but Romano and Austria yelled at him and shut him up pretty fast. I asked when France got here, and he said he's been here the whole time hiding behind trees! That made Austria and Fratello real pale. Then Germany came in looking tired and took me away, saying if I was with him, I wouldn't be bothered by those idiots. I don't think they're idiots but I wouldn't mind staying in a tent with Germany! He's so warm! So I guess Austria is coming with us too. Romano's sitting in a corner of the tent and big brother Spain is trying to say nice things to make him come out, but I don't think it's working. Well, good luck, fratello! I'm gonna go to Germany's tent now! Ciao!

**God. Fucking. DAMMIT. FELICIANO. I can't believe you left me in a tent alone with the rapist trio! I'm going to die! You left your stupid diary here and I have nothing better to do, so I'm going to tell you all the horrible things that go on so you'll feel like the stupid bastard you are. Speaking of bastards, ditching me for the Potato variety? REALLY? What happened to bros before hos? Because obviously that Macho Potato is one! He's probably doing a bunch of gross, sexual things to you in front of Austria right now! And I can't do anything about it because that damn Frenchie is blocking the tent opening! He and Prussia are talking about who they think the most "bangable" countries are, and lucky me, you of all people are on their list. As well as that fucking tight-ass Austria, Finland, Latvia (PEDOPHILES), and ME. THEY WANT TO FREAKING...UGH. God, if you really love me, you'll end my misery right now.**

**So I have to listen to that shit. And Spain doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about. He asked what they meant when they said they would love to toss my salad.**

**Holy fucking shit. I hate my life.**

**Later...  
****It's freezing. That's the only reason I'm letting Spain hug me right now. He's warm, okay? I think he's falling asleep, and I don't even know why I'm writing in this. It's definitely not because I'm used to writing in diaries! That's stupid. Ugh, now he's whispering something…**

**Even fucking later...  
****Oh god. Oh my god. Antonio tried to…to…do something. With Prussia and France STILL IN THE TENT. At first he was just kissing me…in several places…but then he started taking off my clothes, so I slapped him and pointed to Potato Bastard #2 and the French Bastard gawking at us from the other side of the tent. Fuck, they probably had boners from just watching us! You should have seen the nasty looks on their faces! Stupid Spain didn't understand, so I kicked his perverted friends out of the tent and explained that having sex in front of his voyeuristic buddies was unacceptable. Then the idiot said something about how they wouldn't mind! I can NOT believe him! This is all your fault, Feli!**

**_Hey, isn't this your diary, Feliciano? Why was Lovi writing in it earlier? Oh well. Do you know what happened to Prussia and France? I keep hearing loud noises that sound like crows outside but I couldn't find them. I guess Lovi was scared when I left the tent to look for them because when I got back, he looked like he was going to cry! I told him there was nothing to be scared of and I was right here, but he said he wasn't scared. I know he was though! So I pulled him on my lap and made sure he was warm and safe, and he let me, surprisingly! He's asleep now. He gets cuddly and even more adorable than usual when he's tired. Your brother is so cute, Feli!  
___****~España**

**I AM TEARING THIS PAGE OUT GODDAMMIT. AND I AM NOT CUTE!  
****-Romano Vargas, YOUR FUCKING BROTHER WHO YOU LEFT TO BE RAPED.**_**  
**_

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**A/N: Yeah…this chapter was just filled to the frothy brim with Spamano. Ahh, I couldn't help it. But next chapter you'll hear all about what happened in Germany, Italy, and Austria's tent. And where Prussia and France went. Dear lord. Please review, and thanks for reading~**


	11. Campeggio, p3

**Diary of a Wimpy Italian  
****Part XI**

**Warnings: **Not much  
**Pairings:** GerIta, Spamano, PruAus

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3/31/10

Dear Diary,

I wonder why there are pages torn out? Did Romano need paper for something? I'll have to ask him about it.

Anyway, lots of strange things happened last night. After me, Germany, and Austria left our tent, Germany noticed we needed more firewood. He's so smart! Only, he wanted me and Austria to help him get some because he didn't want to leave us alone in the tent. I asked why and he said something about his brother, France, and Spain, and Romano's sad fate. It was weird and mumbly. So we left our little campsite to look for nice, dry firewood. The woods were dark, cold, and spooky! There were so many scary noises that Germany said were just my imagination. I'm still not sure if I believe him…

Germany kept making sure we didn't wander off, because he said we both have bad cents in direction. Or was it sense? I thought I kept seeing these two pairs of eyes following us…One was bright red, and I screamed that it was a wolf! Then Germany grabbed my hand and pulled me to keep us going. I swore we were being followed! Austria said he had the feeling we were being watched too! So Germany sighed real heavy and stopped us. He grabbed a big stick (he likes using big sticks for some reason) and searched the area.

Then, out of nowhere, France and Prussia jumped out at us! I couldn't believe they tricked us again! Prussia grabbed Austria and dragged him through the woods to show him "just how awesome he could be," and Austria grumbled something about last time being too painful and not worth it. That shut Gil up until we couldn't see them anymore. Germany said that now that France was here, he should help us with firewood, but instead France laughed in a really girly way and skipped off naked. Except he had that weird rose thing over his vital regions. I wish he didn't do that! His body is all gross and hairy. But don't tell him I said that.

So Germany grumbled about lazy people and getting headaches and I decided I should cheer him up. I went to grab some firewood and ran up to him, all smiley and saying, "Ready for orders, Captain!"

Then I got real happy because Germany smiled a little and said I'd done plenty for now. He got lots more (heavier) wood, and we found our way back to the campground. I think I heard Spain singing a lullaby in Spanish in the other tent. Was Fratello in there with him? I'm surprised he sat and listened to it. Spain has a nice voice, but Fratello is always too stubborn and flustered to admit it.

Germany told me to get into the tent while he tended to the fire, so I waited a while and got sleepy. By the time he joined me, I was thisclose to falling asleep. He pulled an extra blanket over my sleeping bag and I attempted to cuddle against him as best as I could (he was glad I was wearing pajamas—it was really cold, so of course I would!), but it was hard. He unzipped my sleeping bag and laid it out flat so we could both lie on it. With all the blankets and body heat, it was sooooo warm!

I made lots of happy noises that made Germany blush, and then I kissed him goodnight on the cheek. I kind of wondered where France, Prussia, and Austria were, but France wandered in a little later and I guess Prussia and Austria got into Spain and Fratello's tent at some point in the morning.

It was such a fun camping trip! I didn't get why everyone was grumbling about being so tired and sore in the morning. It wasn't that bad! Germany said it was their own fault for staying up so late and Prussia said that France was just a prissy little girl. Then France chased Prussia to his car and we all went home. I ended up going home with Germany, since Fratello said Big Brother Spain was kidnapping him again, and I didn't want to be home alone for no reason. Now that I think about it, me and Fratello are away from home a lot nowadays!

~_Italia_

P.S. Right before I wrote this entry, Germany asked me if I learned anything important on this trip. I told him I should never trust France and Prussia and Spain together, and at first he looked confused, but then he sighed and agreed. He said that wasn't the point of our camping trip, but it was good enough. I smiled hugged him and we went to get ice cream. :)

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**A/N: The reason this took me so long to actually get to was because I suddenly lost interest in it. But fear not, there is one more chapter planned. Thanks for reading, and please review~**


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